A sunny day full of little joys

Good day to you!

Today is one of those sunny days when God's creation is just so magnificent! Today I have also witnessed a few things that have just filled my heart with joy and happiness. As I was driving to the house where I work as a nanny, I saw a man in a wheelchair wheeling himself around the trail at a local park. It was so inspiring, and I really wanted to stop and tell him! But I didn't. 

Then as I was looking out the window a little bit ago, I saw a dad pushing his child in a stroller and not too far behind him was a little girl pushing a little stroller with a doll in it. What a beautiful scene of an involved father and a young girl clearly looking up to her dad! Just precious in my opinion! 

In other joys, the little girl I nanny is sleeping in, giving me time to write this blog! And I found out that I received a scholarship from the university I attend! Big joy for that! 

Peace out girl scout, 

LHDK

Folding the page and starting a new chapter

Hey! 

Welp, today I took my last final of my sophomore year in college and am spending my last night in the dorms. Today was the last day I will ever fill in my current last name on a Scantron form... Wow. That hit me hard during Agricultural Economics today! 

This summer is going to be an interesting transition so that is why I decided to call it folding the page. Getting married is going to be a big step in a new direction, beginning a new chapter in the book of life. While I am SO SO SO SO excited to marry my cutie patootie, I am also becoming anxious about the new changes. I am a very anxious person, and am not one to respond to change very well. Living in the dorms and being at Purdue has become my comfortable place, my home. There is a huge, lifelong adventure in front of me, and I'm trying to get ready for it! 

It's hard to say goodbye to friends knowing that some of them I may never see again and others will not remain close. The end of a school year is always so tough for me, and they certainly aren't getting any easier! 

Later, 

LHDK

Thoughts on Churches and Building Community

Hi there! 

Per usual, finals weeks has come along and instead of studying I am pursuing other deep thoughts that have been simmering all semester. I'm pretty sure this happens every semester! 

I have a wonderful friend here at college who is such a strong Christian, grounded in faith and Christian leadership. We don't get to have deep chats often, but when we do, they are awesome. She is one who asks very forward, thought provoking questions. 

Since I am getting married in 97 days (AHHH!!!) the question of whether or not to change churches has come up. I absolutely love the church that my fiance and I attend each week. Since I came to this college, it has been a place that I look forward to going to every Sunday. So of course, why would we leave? We both love it. 

But my friend asked me a very good question, "Are there people at (name of church) that consistently are pouring into you, who are holding you accountable, and pushing you in your faith?" My answer was definitely not. While this church is a place that I love so dearly, it is not a place where I have been able to truly build a community of strong Christian friends who can pour into me and I can pour into them. And I want that. Looking back at my prayer journal, I have continuously been praying for God to bring a fellowship of Christian friends into my life. I have this expectation that if someone wants to be my friend, they should approach me and seek me out. Ha, and maybe that's why I don't have a million friends.  

Another problem with this church is that the large majority of its members are college students, so unlike us they are not married. I feel like as a young married couple, we need strong Christian couples to be in community with and who can be a model for a Christ-centered marriage. 

Just my thoughts, feel free to share yours! 

Love, 

LHDK

So I'm getting married?!?!

Wow, it's been awhile. That's old news. 

Three measly days after my last post, I got engaged! And that's why I haven't been blogging! I've been mega busy with school and life and WEDDING PLANS! Still so exciting! I have definitely found that it is really easy to get caught up in the wedding plans and less in the marriage plans. The wedding is one day and the marriage is a lifetime. Helllo! Clearly this is important. In an effort to focus more on marriage preparation, I recently read a book titled, The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller. It was stellar! If you are seriously pursuing a guy/girl with marriage in mind, engaged like myself, or been married for years, you should read this book. It was awesome. I can't say I read anything in that book that was earth shattering, nothing that made me drop my jaw, but it brought to light and cleared up many things that I had questioned or failed to think about in the first place. Read it. 

Let's talk engagement. If your friends or family get engaged, be supportive. Please. Do it for the long-haired goofball on the internet. That support means the world to them and your lack of support is going to break their heart. I have been overwhelmed by support, and it's been great. I've had times when I have just broke down in tears of happiness for the support I have gotten. Like wow. 20 years old and I say I'm getting married in 6 months. I'm a poor college kid and I have no idea what the "real world" is like but they still have my back! I am just so thankful for my supportive family and friends, and even strangers. Thank you, God! There are still some skeptical cookies out there, unsure of what the heck this little girl is getting herself into and that's tough. It's really tough actually. But I love my best friend and I'm going to marry him in 137 days!

Other words of wisdom:
Men of the world: Ask her father, get down on one knee, and make sure somebody takes a picture. Can you believe my amazing boyfriend, now fiance, did ALL OF THOSE THINGS?! And the ring is gorgeous. He. Did. Awesome.

Girls: Be ready to show off that ring. Like every 5 minutes. For weeks. 

Love, 

LHDK

So I decided there is no need for the big fairy tale shabang?

Whadddupppp!

I'm always full of thoughts, that's nothing new. But lately I'm been really thinking about weddings. If you knew me, you would know that I LOVE WEDDINGS. The Wedding Planner, Bride Wars, 27 Dresses, all have earned a spot on my list of favorites. I love attending weddings. I love watching wedding videos. I love perusing wedding dresses, flowers, rings, and decorations on Pinterest. My parents joke that I'm going to be a bridezilla. But lately, my feelings have been changing about them. By no means am I saying that I don't like them anymore, OHHH HECKK NO. I've just finally began to realize what is really important. It's not about how pretty your flowers are or what color seat covers you have. It's not about whether everyone likes the venue or whether the food is tasty enough to satisfy your guests. It's about love and celebrating the fact that you just dedicated your life to another human. Helllooooo, that's a big deal. While I believe that I have always known this, I have held very high expectations for that special day. I believe that I could have the fairy tale wedding that I envision, someday. Someday meaning when I'm like 30 because all that "stuff" is really expensive. Is it worth the wait? In my opinion, definitely not. When I get married, whenever that is, I want the day to be special. I also want it to be simple. I want it to be a day for US, done OUR way, not the fancy fairy tale way because after the day is over, what are you going to remember? I don't want to remember how stressed out I was. I don't want to remember how mean I was to people because I was stressed out. I want to remember a beautiful, happy day. The day I told the entire world that I was going to love this man every single day for the rest of my life. So if we want to eat chicken strips and wear flip flops, so be it. 

End of rant. 

Love, 

LHDK

So I decided that maybe I have the winter blues?

Aloha. 

Good gravy, I wish I was on a warm beach basking in the sunshine and listening to the waves hit the sand. I was rereading some of my blogs and I concluded that I never really say anything interesting, but that's okay. This seems more of an outlet for me to let it out (and pretend like people might read this and find comfort in having the same struggles) rather than entertainment. 

For some reason, this week has been kinda hard for me and I really don't know why. Maybe it's the winter blues? Maybe it's the weight of a little deep thinking? How should I know? Again, long hair don't know. We all have a sad day here and there when we don't feel right and just wanna snuggle in our beds. I've been feeling like that all week. I've realized that I am usually a pretty happy person, but this week I've felt kind of bummed out. I've been feeling that I have to put on a fake show that I'm my usual happy snappy self. I'm hoping this funk will soon pass! 

This week, I think I have definitely been faced with some ideas and situations that have made me think and question some things. I am applying to be a RA and the class is quite grueling for me, but also very insightful. If you knew me, you would know that when I want something, I will most definitely persist until I find a way to get it. With this RA position, I don't feel like I have that ambition and that drive to get it. So maybe I don't really want it? I believe that it is a wonderful position that can be used to benefit many, many individuals. So I should want it. I should want it really bad. I had a dream last night that one of my friends told me that I should just drop now because "you don't have what it takes anyway, Ali." Though I know this friend would never say such a thing to myself, I feel hurt by it. But not enough to do my usual, "You don't think I can do it? Just watch." I don't know. Another thing is that I feel the need to put on a fake show in that class too. Look at me, I'm Ali, and I'm outgoing and bubbly, and I live to play icebreaker games! But I'm not into any of that. I'm quiet and reserved and quite frankly hate ice breaker games most of the time. 

Another thing that I have come to realize is that I do a lot of things I "should" do only because I "should" do them. That goes back to the RA thing as well. If I get the position, I will get a hefty chunk taken out of my college expenses and so of course, I should do whatever it takes to get that. I'm President of a club because well, let's be honest here, it will look good on scholarship applications. Don't get me wrong, I am very honored that I have been given these opportunities for success and both will definitely help me to develop leadership skills, people skills, and time management. I will be thrilled if I get RA and I will definitely pour my heart and soul into the position because that's what I do. I don't not give it my all. In relationships, in my schoolwork, in everything, here have it all. I've been learning lately though, that sometimes I can't do it all. I have to say no, to step away, to let someone else take care of something. 

Amidst everything, struggles and victories, I know that it is important to give it to God. Trust in God because He knows what's going on and you don't. Let Jesus take the wheel or you're going to crash your little car. This isn't Mario Kart, let God drive.

Have a lovely day! ♥

With Love,

LHDK

This is a great song and a great reminder to "keep your head up, keep your heart strong."

So I decided... nothing. Today was just rough.

Hi everyone.

Today there was a shooting at the university that I attend. 

What a day.

I am really struggling to find words to describe what is going on in my head right now. 

I am scared and anxious and struggling to trust other people.

Yet. 

I am so thankful. 

Thankful for my safety, the safety of my boyfriend, and the safety of my friends and classmates.

Thankful for a strong community united by tragedy.

Thankful for family and friends.

Thankful for life, for another blessed day on this earth.

But most of all, thankful for an awesome God. I know He has a purpose and a plan. 

I am thankful for the love of God being spread across this campus of a public school.

I am thankful for my boyfriend who failed to leave my side today. Who said, "Ali, you're not going to class. You're staying right here." 

Many times today I have turned to God, often speechless, unsure of what to say. Yet, I believe God knows the yearning of my soul. 

It's been a whirlwind of a day. So long, but yet so short. 

Life is so precious, so short, and so full of opportunities. Take them. Give them. 

Love each other. 

Pray.

And give thanks.

I'm tired, but so full of thoughts.

Love, 

LHDK

I may not know a lot of things, but I do know to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. That is something that helps me to rest easier.